Top Three Maverick Purchases in the New York Governor's Office

I have a contact deep within the bowels of New York state government and he was able to leak a few of the maverick purchases which have come across their procurement systems in recent months. A full audit of these maverick buys is now underway, but sources are not saying if a three-way match is possible. The first of these items was a purchase of a custom-built excuse machine that was supposedly used to defend someone’s action to his wife. The second item was apparently purchased by many of the Governors aids in a failed attempt to show that they were in fact the actual "Client 9". The third item was the most suspicious of all. Apparently, a number of the Governors interns attempted to deal with their bosses' libido by nipping it in the bud. They attempted this by purchasing a few dozen copies of Hillary’s autobiography and leaving it open to pages containing pictures of the Senator throughout the Governor's mansion. Apparently, the thinking went that this would get hanky-panky off the mind of the Governor. Personally, I'm surprised this failed. I mean, images like this one should work in this regard.

- Jason Busch

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