Good news and bad news for procurement tweeters…

Many thanks to all of you who replied to our competition a couple of weeks back asking “what’s the worst Tweet you could receive as a Procurement professional”?

Several suggestions focused quite strongly on the bribery and corruption aspects.. funny that!

I particularly liked Bitter and Twisted:  Is it the Cayman account or the Swiss account this time ?

We had a whole series from Dan and Market Dojo that started with: Had a great time with you last Friday and am really looking forward to working with you. Candie sends her regards... and got more worrying from there...

Another double act from those two covered CSR issues, including Don’t worry, we make sure all our employees still have time to do their school home-work once they get back from our factories.

I liked David Atkinson’s subtlety:  I regret to inform you that your application for (delete as appropriate) marketing /ops /finance /HR(!) /anywhere / has been unsuccessful.

Adam Alphin weighed in with something that took me back to my days of commodity buying...  I think you’re bluffing, you don’t have a competitive bid. We’re sticking to our price.

Stephen Ashcroft suggested this. We are not able to progress this but thank you for the opportunity to consider supplying @Farrington1978 #truestory

Which given his Twitter hashtag of #truestory is, I assume, a true story...

Dr Gordon Murray tried the old flattery route (never fails) with, Please accept this a FoI request from Spend Matters …. And Vegas Child claimed to have photos of the CIPS dinner “lift incident”...

But the one that really sent chills of recognition down my spine was this from Alastair: simple but oh so familiar I suspect to many of us:

 Has your chief executive told you about the deal he and I made at golf yesterday?

We will be in touch about your prize... even though Plan Bee’s entry was:

Thanks for your post – you’ve won our monthly prize of a Spend Matters Mug!

Quickly followed by Not that it matters, they don’t exist anyway

You’re right Plan Bee, I failed in my mug sourcing, but we’ll think of something else. Honest.  And thanks so much to everyone who contributed, great fun I thought! And you can see the whole set in the “comments” after this post.

So, if we’re in the mood for some more; how about the other side of things?

What’s the BEST Tweet you might receive as a procurement person?

140 characters max remember.

Voices (5)

  1. David Orr:

    IBM/SW1 have delivered the SAP ERP project for Somerset Councils and the Police below £30m budget, on time & everything works as specified.

  2. Plan Bee:

    You cant buy them. Even though they are only virtual, you still have to earn them 🙂

  3. Christine Morton:

    No twitter for me, thanks – but oh! I’d love a Spend Matters mug! Where can I order one?

  4. alranson:

    I know where you can source SpendMatters mugs! 🙂

  5. TimBya:

    ‘Congratulations you have won award for Spend Matters tweet of the year’. Followed by (you guessed it) ‘sorry misspelt tweet….’

    Received from CEO (in my dream):
    ‘excellent ideas, I will take them forward with the Board. You procurement folks really are on the ball as usual’

    Received in 2077 from today’s new starter in procurement:
    ‘Congratulations on your 65 year service – now entitled to draw down from our ‘initial salary company pension scheme’

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