Military Inventory – Great News about the Goalposts!

Very well spotted by Michael Savage, Times journalist, who pointed out via Twitter this parliamentary question and response. (He's well worth following - @michaelsavage)

Madeleine Moon asked the MOD Minster Andrew Robathan – as a follow on to a previous question – which lost and stolen items of MOD equipment listed between May 2010 and March 2012 have subsequently been found or recovered. And the good news is that they’ve found a whole load of stuff!

Yes, the nation can rest easier in its bed, knowing that the “Flight deck helmet, goggles and ear defenders” had not been stolen after all!  As the list explains, somewhat tersely – “No crime. Items found”.

That is a common explanation.  It turns out that neither the “Expandable barrier for traffic control” nor the “Silver plated cutlery” had been stolen either.  They’ve been found. It’s a bit worrying that our brave boys and girls are reduced to using silver plated cutlery though, isn’t it?

Phew! The MOD have found their goalposts!

And thank goodness, what a relief it is to discover that “4 x full size goal posts; 2 x small size goalposts” were not after all the victims of that well-known international criminal fraternity, known to law enforcement forces around the world as “The Goal Post Gang”.  No, the items have been “recovered” and again, no crime was involved. (There is an interesting and unanswered question here as to what the difference is between items being “found” or “recovered”? And it can't be very easy, one would have thought, to mislay something quite as obvious as a set of goalposts...)

On the other hand it is a little concerning to see this entry –“Military Ceremonial Kit—1 x sword ORS; 1 x scabbard ORS; 1 x belt waist; 1 x sling sword; 1 x sling; 1 x lining; 1 x sword knot -All items except sword recovered”.

So somewhere out there is a military ceremonial sword – without it’s scabbard however. Watch out for Olympic fencers looking for an unfair advantage... And of the 7 drill rifles mislaid, 4 have been recovered.

Of course, keeping track of all the equipment used by military forces must be an extraordinary problem.  It’s not as if there’s always time to check everything in and out on your SAP system I guess if you’re in the middle of being attacked by the Taleban. So I don’t envy the supply chain managers involved in that task.

But anyway, let’s just rejoice, for the goalposts have returned to their rightful military football pitch. All is well.

Voices (2)

  1. Final Furlong:

    Own goal?

  2. Dan:

    It must be quite easy to misplace some goalposts when you move them as often as government departments do

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