Procurement events in 2014 – we look into our crystal ball (part 1)

Again, we have looked into the Spend Matters crystal ball – a slightly painful but ultimately satisfying experience. We’ve strained our eyes and imagination to see what might hit the procurement headlines in 2014. So here we go with part 1….

 January

  • As wages continue to rise rapidly in India, China and other offshored locations, the search is on for the next source of serious labour arbitrage. “North Korea is the new hot spot for outsourcing”, announces Outsource Everything magazine.
  • BravoSolution announce their new office in Albania will be opening shortly. “We think it is a region ripe for expansion, and we’re hopeful the electricity will be connected soon” says Nader Sabbaghian, their CEO.
  • The Government Procurement Service “will become the Crown Commercial Service very shortly, just as soon as we work out how this change of name form on the Gov.uk website works”, says Bill Crothers, government CPO.  “So why the f*** does it keep saying ‘please complete all marked fields’?” he added.

February

  • Craig Lardner, the first Australian CIPS President, announces a new CIPS charitable fund to help distressed England cricketers after they lose the fifth test match by 2,758 runs. “We must be sympathetic” he says, in between bouts of hysterical laughter.
  • SciQuest announce the purchase of Spend Radar. When it is pointed out to them that they bought that firm in 2010, their CEO apologizes and explains that is sort of tough keeping up with all their acquisitions...

March

  • Craig Lardner gives his presidential speech at the CIPS dinner. Playing to Aussie typecasts, he quotes Rousseau, Nietzsche, Herman Melville and Piccaso in his speech, given in a mix of English, Mandarin and French. He then has a small glass of sherry and is in bed by 11.
  • Bill Crothers announces that if he can just recruit “another 500 or so really smart people” from the private sector, then the Crown Commercial Service – sorry, the Government Procurement Service - will really start delivering benefits.

April

  • There are now so many procurement awards events that the Procurement Leaders event in April features a new category – Best Procurement Awards Event.  In a controversial decision, the winner is the Procurement Leaders Awards event.
  • Under new NHS competition law, hospital trusts are now suing private sector providers, several clinical commissioning groups are taking action against Monitor, the regulatory body, whilst the Health Minister states that the “teething troubles” will soon settle down.

May

  • The Editor of Outsource Everything magazine is caught taking a photograph of an office during a fact finding mission with prospective clients  to North Korea. He is arrested, interrogated, then eaten by starving peasants.
  • Bravo Solution open another new office in Mongolia. “Have you seen how big this region is?” says their MD. “It’s huge! Now if I can just find some people. Hello? Anybody there”?

June

  • A further attempt to simplify Competition Law in the NHS is launched. A new 375 page “clarification” document from the Department of Health explains that they never really meant everything to be competed just, you know what I mean, it would be helpful if, sort of, some things where, like, it really would be good to have some other suppliers, but not so hospitals actually have to, like, close or anything...   Lawyers celebrate wildly in the street.
  • Crown Commercial Service headcount hits 2,000 and team meetings are held in the Liverpool St Georges Hall.  "We are now ready to take on stationery buying across government", announces Bill Crothers.

More tomorrow!

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