The Santa Brand Book – comedy genius with a tenuous procurement connection

Let’s start the week off on a good note.  Christmas brings all sorts of end of year lists, ‘humorous’ articles and features, ‘best of’ reviews and so on. Many are just space fillers because there isn’t real news about and we’re all saving our best ideas for the New Year.

But sometimes we get something seasonal with some real effort and inspiration behind it. And this year, Quietroom, a firm who help “brands realise the value of words” and assist organisations to communicate better, have come up with an all-time classic – the Santa Brand Book.

The firm is also notable (tenuous procurement link coming up) because our favourite fictional procurement leader is one of Quietroom's directors. That is Vincent Franklin – who played Nick Jowett, the blunt Yorkshire Contracts Director in the sublime BBC Olympics spoof Twenty Twelve. (I met him in a bar once and he seemed like a really good bloke too...)

Anyway, they have produced this spoof ‘Brand Book,’ as you marketing folk would call it, describing what makes the brand special, how it is positioned, how it should  be marketed and presented and so on.  And the Brand in question is... Santa. Or, as I should say in order to adhere to the Brand Book, *Santa* ( the Book explains why the asterisks are core to the brand value too).

There are twelve web pages, every one of those with laugh out loud content, particularly if you have any interest in marketing bulls**t. Yet it is all done so well, so much thought has clearly gone into it, and it has that slight ring of truth. So rather than being simply daft, you think yes, I can actually imagine someone doing this quite seriously. But above all it is seriously funny.

Who else is “occupying *Santa*’s space?” they ask?  Then based on a matrix with ‘Beardiness’ and ‘Fatiness’ as the two axes, it is Hagrid who is “entering our reputational space ”. Eric Pickles and Paul Hollywood are lesser threats.

And as for the approved vocabulary – we must always say *Santa* is “fond of children” – not “a bit creepy”....

You get he picture. Basically excellent.

Voices (2)

  1. Simon:

    If you read, tweeted or shared our *Santa* Brand Book – thank you. By the time we got back from our holidays, it’d had 1.1 million views. We think that happened because, like lots of successful communication, it followed these 5 golden rules: http://www.bit.ly/5goldenones

  2. Ben Glynn:

    “Our brand is constructed on a foundation of deceit, which is sunk deep within a bedrock of gullibility. The pillars of trickery, sparkle and myth shoulder the joist principle of illusion. This entire brand metastructure is accessed through the chimney of “Santa”.”

    Slide 12 is superb! Rosy cheeked = Half-cut!

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